


Claws on my paws like a crocodile's jaws

by DancingLassie



Series: A Scottish Medley [2]
Category: Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types, Wiedźmin | The Witcher Series - Andrzej Sapkowski
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Ciri is their daughter, Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia Has Feelings, Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia Loves Jaskier | Dandelion, Jaskier | Dandelion Loves Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia, M/M, Past Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia/Yennefer z Vengerbergu | Yennefer of Vengerberg, Roach is a cat, She loves Geralt, fluff friday, soft, very very soft
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-08
Updated: 2020-05-08
Packaged: 2021-03-03 00:54:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,380
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24076321
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DancingLassie/pseuds/DancingLassie
Summary: Geralt stares down at the creature, unimpressed.“We agreed on a dog,” Geralt ventures carefully.Geralt has never been able to deny Jaskier anything he's really wanted.  So, when Jaskier drops hints about adopting a pet, Geralt reluctantly agrees to getting a dog.  Roach is definitely not a dog.
Relationships: Cirilla Fiona Elen Riannon & Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia, Cirilla Fiona Elen Riannon & Jaskier | Dandelion, Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia & Roach, Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia & Yennefer z Vengerbergu | Yennefer of Vengerberg, Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia/Jaskier | Dandelion
Series: A Scottish Medley [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1736986
Comments: 35
Kudos: 673





	Claws on my paws like a crocodile's jaws

**Author's Note:**

> I couldn't resist coming back to the modern AU I created in ['Step we gaily on we go'](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23701570) and I realised I'd been unable to include Roach. I've decided to correct this horrendous oversight here. 
> 
> This is set slightly before 'Step we gaily on we go', but I don't think you'll be lost if you haven't read it. All you really need to know is that Jaskier and Geralt are together, Ciri is Geralt and Yennefer's daughter and they are divorced after a slightly disastrous marriage.
> 
> Thanks to [Willowherb](https://willowherbgardens.tumblr.com) for being my beta reader.

Geralt stares down at the creature, unimpressed.

The cat licks its paw and stares placidly back at him. It is  _ not _ a cute cat. A brown, gingerish colour, with a squashed quality to its face. It's also rather large and rather ugly.

It lies in Jaskier’s arms as the man in question beams at him, rubbing his face against the top of the cat’s head. The cat is unimpressed and bats at Jaskier with its paw. It clearly doesn’t realise the colourful man is the only thing saving it from being taken straight back to the animal sanctuary.

“We agreed on a dog,” Geralt ventures carefully.

And they had. Jaskier has been dropping increasingly less subtle hints about getting a pet for the last three months. He’s been dragging Geralt out for long walks around the local parks, stopping to pet and coo at any dog that comes close enough. He’s been forcing him into pet shops to admire the rabbits and gerbils. He’s been sighing loudly and commenting pointedly every time an animal charity is advertised on TV. 

Geralt had realised what Jaskier wanted by the second walk, but had elected to play dumb for as long as possible. He’d hoped Jaskier would eventually drop the subject if Geralt continued to ignore it. He should have known better. 

Jaskier had finally escalated matters by asking outright if they should adopt a pet. He’d played dirty as well. He’d asked while Ciri was over. The fifteen-year-old had squealed excitedly and Geralt had had two sets of puppy-dog eyes to contend with as he struggled to articulate why his answer was, and always would be, no.

It’s just … he isn’t really an animal person.

Growing up, he’d been shunted from foster home to foster home. No chance to create beloved childhood memories with a furry companion. The only home that had owned a pet had been the Johnsons and their vicious chihuahua had tried to bite all the kids they fostered at least once. Geralt had been terrified of that dog. He’d sometimes woken to the little brute growling in his face, but Mrs Johnson refused to see it as anything but her darling little angel.

In the end he’d found a stable home with Vesemir, who had a reputation for taking on boys the social workers deemed most likely to be future thugs. Vesemir showed the boys how to give the system the finger by turning them into mostly competent, responsible adults. However, Vesemir only has to see something with fur in the distance and he starts sneezing, so no pets there.

Point is, Geralt’s never really been around pets long enough to see the appeal of having one, and it seems like an awful lot of responsibility and work. He’d known there was no way Jaskier would ever be content with something low maintenance, like a fish. Jaskier is the type to want something to cuddle and play with.

“We both work odd hours. You go away a lot for work,” he’d protested to Jaskier.

“I can help,” Ciri had chimed in, unhelpfully. “I can pop over after school. Mum wouldn’t mind. That way you can see more of me.” Now she was playing dirty too. How was Geralt supposed to argue against that?

“Pets are expensive.”

“We’re doing alright; we’re comfortable,” Jaskier had fired back. “You know Yennefer has already set up a trust fund to pay for Ciri’s university education, so we don’t need to worry about that. Even when we contribute to her living costs, we still won’t be breaking the bank. Your only major expense is your gym membership.”

“And me,” Ciri had piped up. “But I’m getting a job when I turn sixteen. Mum won’t let me get my ears pierced, but she can’t argue if I’m sixteen and pay for it with my own money.”

Ciri obviously underestimated her mother. Yennefer could and would throw a fit when the time came.

“Vesemir’s allergic,” had been Geralt’s final, rather feeble line of reasoning.

“He visits us at home three times a year at most, and you always insist on deep cleaning the house before he arrives. It can cope with being left in our bedroom when Vesemir comes round.”

“I’ll think about it,” Geralt had been forced to concede. After that, it had only been a matter of time. He’d never been very good at denying Jaskier anything he truly wanted.

A week after the initial conversation, they’d been enjoying a quiet moment together in the sunny garden, reading on a blanket on the grass.

Geralt had propped himself up on an elbow and turned to Jaskier, who had dozed off, his novel spread open across his chest.

“Do you really want a pet?”

“Hmm…” Jaskier had hummed as he slowly woke up. “Yeah, always have. Grew up in a big house in the middle of nowhere, so it wasn’t really easy to visit school friends. It was always a bit lonely. Found a stray hiding in the shed once. It was a really ugly dog. Looked like a starved, matted version of Tramp, you know, from that Disney film?”

It had been Ciri’s favourite movie when she was five, so Geralt did know. He still can’t see a plate of spaghetti and meatballs without hearing that blasted song from the movie. He must have seen that film about three hundred times, at least.

“I fed him secretly for about a month. After a while, he let me wash him with the garden hose. I stole my mum’s really expensive shampoo from her bathroom. Don’t think I’ve come across a dog who’s smelled like roses and strawberries since. Anyway, I tried to sneak him into my room and that’s when I got caught. My dad found us. Tramp panicked and ran about all over the house. He smashed my mum’s great aunt’s wedding vase, or something like that. That was it. He got taken to the nearest shelter, I was grounded for a month, and I never saw him again.”

Shit.

There was no way Geralt could have denied him then.

“I suppose I could live with a dog,” Geralt had reluctantly conceded. A big dog he had decided, remembering the dreaded chihuahua. Something he could wrestle with in the garden. An excuse to drag Jaskier out on long scenic walks. Ciri would need to keep her promise and come and help, but she could feasibly come round to walk the dog after school. He would even pay her for it, give her a taste of earning her own money. That was being responsible right? As long as Yennefer never found out he’d helped fund her ear piercing plans.

At least he’d been adequately rewarded for his concession. It was a good thing they hadn’t cut down any of the hedges surrounding their garden or the neighbours would have got an eyeful. Though he did end up with sunburn on his arse. 

Geralt had been supposed to go to the animal sanctuary with Jaskier to pick out their new furry companion, but a job was behind schedule, and the client was sufficiently influential for Geralt to decide he needed to give up a Saturday to finish it. 

He’d come home, expecting to be greeted by frantic, happy barking, but the house was ominously quiet.

“Jaskier?” he’d called out uncertainly. 

“Through here,” Jaskier had shouted from the living room. He’d met Geralt at the doorway holding not a dog, but a cat.

“Well, you see, the thing is Geralt… I had to walk through the cat enclosure to get to the dog bit, and this lovely girl,” he raises the cat up in his arms and she hisses at him. “Was just sitting in the corner of her cage looking miserable. The lad working there said the poor darling had been there for years. No one’s wanted her.”

Given the scratches running up and down his partner’s arms, Geralt can make an educated guess as to why. He crosses his arms and raises an eyebrow.

“Isn’t she a darling, Geralt?” Jaskier is obviously besotted already. Geralt’s going to be unable to return the cat without prompting tears and tantrums. 

“Does the darling have a name?”

“Roach.” At Geralt’s stunned expression he shrugs. “It's what they called her at the shelter and she responds to it.” His voice rises an octave and he makes silly faces at the cat. “Don’t you, you clever girl?”

Roach yowls back at him and leaps out of his arms, landing elegantly on the floor in front of Geralt. She sniffs his ankles suspiciously for a few seconds and then rubs her head against his calf, nimbly winding her way through his legs, purring loudly.

“Aww!” If Jaskier were an emoji he’d be the one with hearts in its eyes. “She likes you already.”

Geralt sighs and heads to the bathroom for a shower. The cat’s staying. He recognises a losing battle when he sees one. Since Jaskier came into his life, he’s been losing a lot more of them. He can’t say he minds too much.

* * *

It quickly becomes apparent that Roach is a demon in a cat’s body. 

Jaskier adores her and showers her with praise and attention as he attempts to woo his way into her good graces. She rebuffs all his attempts. She will just about tolerate head scratches from the musician as long as he gives her treats and is quick about it. Otherwise she treats him with unconcealed disdain, turning her fluffy back on him.

She eats enough for three cats and demands, very loudly, to be let in and out of the bedroom window at all hours, despite having a perfectly good cat flap in the garden door. She likes to jump onto Jaskier’s chest at around three in the morning and dig her claws into him as she kneads his chest with her paws. 

Despite this, when Geralt had suggested a week into the adoption that they take her back, Jaskier had refused to talk to him for two days.

Roach barely tolerates Ciri either, despite the girl being almost as besotted as Jaskier. The two of them waste hours, to no avail, waving bits of fluff on sticks at the unamused cat. 

But for some reason, Roach seems to have taken to Geralt. Undeterred by the fact he shows no interest in her, Roach likes to curl up in his lap as he watches telly after a long day. She will sometimes roll onto her back, shamelessly displaying all for the world to see, demanding belly scratches. Proving herself an excellent mouser, she purrs happily as she drops her corpse gifts at Geralt’s feet during breakfast.

It turns out having a cat is surprisingly nice. Roach is quite independent and only really needs him to bestow his attention on her when she wants it. She’s often a quiet, warm presence at his side, and he finds himself talking to her when he’s alone in the house.

On weekends when Jaskier and Ciri are both away, he'll feed her bits of his meals. Well, he reasons, it’s no fun eating alone and Roach seems to appreciate it.

Yennefer drops round unexpectedly one evening to discuss whether they should let Ciri go to a music festival she’s been harping on about (the answer is definitely not without a chaperone) and they argue about who should have to suffer through it until they remember that Jaskier would probably love to take her. Yennefer laughs like a drain when she sees Roach delicately eating a small plate of the lasagne Geralt has just made for his own dinner.

“Who would have guessed you were a little old cat lady at heart,” she guffaws. Geralt very pointedly does not offer her a plate of her own.

But it turns out her statement is not inaccurate. Geralt  _ likes  _ having Roach around.

He does feel a little bad for Jaskier though.

He slips out one morning and heads to the animal sanctuary. He pointedly ignores the cats as he’s led through their enclosure and makes his way towards the sounds of barking.

He finds the perfect dog in about two seconds. A white, fluffy mutt with large eyes who hangs back from all the others which swarm him the moment he’s through the door.

“That’s Pegasus,” the young man who’s escorting him offers, when he points out the dog. “You know, like the flying horse in that Disney film?”

That film had been Ciri’s favourite when she was eight, so yes (yet again) Geralt does know and never wants to hear a chorus of ‘I won’t say I’m in love’ ever again. 

“His previous owners didn’t treat him very well. He’s a bit skittish.”

Geralt squats down and holds out his hand, waiting patiently for Pegasus to feel safe enough to come over. His patience is rewarded and he’s able to slowly pat the top of Pegasus’ head. The dog whines and pushes his head further into Geralt’s hand. Jaskier has always loved heaping affection on wounded souls. Pegasus will be perfect for him, and he will be perfect for Pegasus. Geralt should know; he’s one of the wounded souls rescued by Jaskier.

Geralt will always treasure the look on Jaskier’s face when he comes home with Pegasus. It’s love at first sight for both of them. Pegasus is the perfect pet for someone like Jaskier. He revels in the musician’s excessive affection. Pants happily as he crawls into Jaskier’s lap at any available opportunity, seemingly confusing himself for the small dog he most certainly is not.

Roach is less impressed by this interloper on her territory, but once she’s firmly established who is the real boss in this household (her), a truce is reached between the two animals. She can now occasionally be found sunbathing in the garden on Pegasus’ back. 

Geralt finds himself unbelievably content with life as he sits on a deckchair in the garden, Roach curled up on his lap while Ciri and Jaskier throw a ball between them, Pegasus playing piggy-in-the-middle. The sun glints off the golden studs decorating his sixteen-year-old daughter’s earlobes and he decides he’d better enjoy the peace while it lasts. 

Yennefer is sure to yell at him about this later.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed this! The title comes from a song about a Glasgow cat who terrifies the city, called [Sam the Skull.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZpfLJ7_wXBM)
> 
> If you fancy saying hi then you can find me on [tumblr!](https://dancinglassie.tumblr.com)


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